When I look at where I was last year versus this year I find myself in a very similar mindset; I expect God to use me and grow me. I am more familiar with my surroundings and some of my responsibilities. But, honestly, there is no way of knowing what to expect. Not specifically. I am certain that God will use my time here to assist SHIP and to make God's name known. We have been preparing for the past day and a half for a conference for pastors and church leaders, which begins tomorrow morning. We are expecting around 50 people to be in attendance. We are very excited to have this opportunity because each of the attendees will be able to reach people we could not. The vision of SHIP, which I share, is not that the people of El Salvador would know who we are and be our friends, but that they would know who God is through Jesus Christ. Through this conference we get to be involved with spreading the name of Jesus with the whole country, not just our neighborhood. That's exciting! There is a good chance we won't see most of the effects from this conference, but people will come to know Jesus because of it and that is why we are here.
Today has been a very good day. I slept very well and made up for the previous few nights getting little sleep. I woke up at 6, made some Earl Grey, and sat on the front porch to do some reading. I read for a little bit then got distracted by a bunch of noise. At least 15 squirrels were running all around in the three giant mango trees inside the fence. They were having a grand time, and their joy was contagious. I found a lot of comfort in knowing God created them and being able to simply enjoy watching that creation. Another highlight of my day has been reconnecting with different people in the orphanage and community. Seeing their smiles and being able to celebrate our reunion has been something I've been looking forward to. Working alongside and getting to know the small group that came with us has been another good part of this day. We come from different places with different backgrounds and some different opinions but God has led each of us to be here together.
While I would say everything is going well, it is far from perfect. I have been dealing with a lot of anxiety in coming to El Salvador this summer. Anxiety with not feeling adequate for the responsibilities I will have, and that someone with different qualities would be better. Yet, I know God has brought me here. Anxiety with having to miss important events for friends and family, such as graduations and weddings. Anxiety that I will hurt friends and family simply because I can't be in as good of contact. Yet, I know God has brought me here. I wouldn't say I'm brokenhearted but I found a very encouraging verse this morning, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed" Psalm 34: 18. God cares!
Something I've been doing with a close friend of mine has been sending a song for the day periodically. One of us will send the other a song relating to something we've talked about or something one of us is experiencing. I think I will start doing that with this blog, starting with "Remind Me Who I Am" by Jason Gray.
You are an inspiration Ryan...to your friends and family back here in the US...but also there...where God has you...doing His work in His name. I will be praying for you...Janis
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