How Are You?

What a common question, how are you? Como esta? This question has been hard for me to grasp for the past 6 months or so. It’s not that I’m doing wonderful or terrible, rather, I’m doing both. I don’t know how to answer that question. I am and have been in the middle of many wonderful and terrible events. How about I use some examples over the past couple weeks here in El Salvador…

Wonderful – All the interns are finally here together! Whoop! The final intern arrived almost 2 weeks ago now and we have been without a SHIP group, so it’s just been us. This has given us the opportunity to plan a variety of events to grow closer with each other and encourage one another in life. We are here in El Salvador to reach out to this community and whomever God brings into our path, but we also want to impact and pour into each other’s lives. It would be a shame if we spent all this time together yet didn’t minister to one another as well.

Terrible – Most of the group has been sick or damaged in some way over the past couple weeks. Stomach issues, allergies, congestion, rolled ankles, back pain, headaches, fever, etc. As a whole, it has been hard for us to find good quality rest that totally refreshes us.

Wonderful – We took 12 kids to a waterpark this past Saturday. We weren’t sure how the logistics would work out, but it worked out perfectly. The weather was perfect, the park was fun, the kids had a great time, we played with waterslides and a wavepool, and got to be a “gringo barco”, which means a “white person boat”. All in all, we couldn’t ask for a better time.

Terrible – As we were returning to the SHIP facility after the waterpark adventure, we were met with the news of the loss of one of my friends, Jesus, who lived at the orphanage. This hit me pretty hard because I haven’t connected as much with the people at the orphanage this summer. I would have liked to play my guitar again for my friend. We attended the visitation as well as a graveside funeral. I played “Poderoso”, Spanish version of “Stronger”, by Hillsong United at the visitation. I know I will see my friend again in Heaven, but it still hurts to have lost his presence here.

Wonderful – We took a trip, as interns and leaders, to Cerro Verde. This is a place were there are 3 volcanoes right next to each other. This place was one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen, even through photos. We stopped about halfway up the middle one and looked out across the valley and over the lake. Absolutely stunning. We explored around the park area, which is the middle one, and then signed up to go on a 4 hour hike to the peak of the next volcano over. They weren’t kidding when they called it a hike. The views and experience made the exhaustion well worth it.

Terrible – There was fog and clouds consistently the whole time we were there. It would break in parts to where we could see some views but they were few and far between. Also about 2 and a half hours into the 4 hour hike, a rain cloud came over the volcano and absolutely soaked everyone and everything. The altitude makes it significantly colder as well, probably mid 60s, not really ideal for being wet. So we got soaked and had to be soaked for a long time, while we were still at the volcano and for the 1 and a half hour drive back to the SHIP facility.

Wonderful – Though we were near the top of a volcano in a rainstorm, we enjoyed ourselves in a way. We would have preferred better weather but a thought came into my head when we started our descent, how much closer can you get to God’s power than being inside a raincloud? We weren’t under a raincloud, we were inside it. I was with Juan Carlos and Beth the majority of the descent and we had a good time. We would not have chosen those circumstances, but because of them, we bonded in a better way. We were making jokes and laughing and encouraging one another during the descent. It was an enjoyable time. Not comfortable but still very enjoyable.

Wonderful – We took 14 of the older kids to the movies this past Wednesday. We watched the newest Pirates of the Caribbean movie. It was a pretty good movie and we had a good time with the kids. The only thing we might have changed was the day, we did it the same day as our volcano trip so it was a very long day.

Wonderful – I had the opportunity of being in charge of everything for one week. This meant being the lead intern who guides and keeps things moving forward. I was given this responsibility as an opportunity to gain experience in being a leader. None of our events or plans really changed, but I was in charge of getting things moving each and every day. This also involved leading the group meetings where we were choosing work projects and activities. I learned a great deal about what it is like to be a leader and how to provide guidance and direction for others I am working alongside.

Terrible – I was given this responsibility the day I began getting sick. I wasn’t majorly sick but I was maybe at 75%. Also, my personality and scars from past relationships ending make it very difficult for me to be confrontational. Any moment where I had to settle a split decision or tell someone to focus or pick up the pace brought me a anxiety because my mind tells me that moment will be the ending of another relationship. I know this is not the truth, but my mind and body tell me every confrontational situation is going to be the end of a relationship. I did not realize how much stress and pressure I had put myself under until I passed the leadership responsibility back to Leon. That day I slowly realized how depleted I was, emotionally and physically. I’m grateful for the opportunity, but it was a rough week for me. I am happy I went through it though.

Wonderful – I got to see the man I gave my Bible and cowboy boots to again 2 Sundays ago. We went to visit the church near his house again because they were having a 20^th year celebration service. They gave us each a plate of food afterward and we stopped by this man’s home on the way out of the neighborhood to give him our food for him and his family. It brought us both happiness to see each other again, if only for a moment. I am grateful to see how God has used me to encourage this man toward seeking God. I am praying for another opportunity to see this man again before I return to Texas in 3 weeks.

Wonderful – We built a house! We had the opportunity to choose a work project and to make it happen. It took about 3 and a half days of work from start to finish once we’d chosen to do this project. It was a lot of work but we meshed well as a group and got to enjoy the company of a couple local families who were helping us.

Wonderful – Another group arrived! I’m excited to see what God will do through us this week and how He will draw us closer to one another.

How are you, you ask? I still don’t know how to answer that. I’m not sure if I ever will be able to find a great answer. I don’t believe this phenomenon will ever change either, that life is full of both wonderful and terrible events. All in all, I’m grateful I am alive and that God is using me, all of me and my qualities, even my insecurities. I think I found a fitting song for this blog post, called Whatever You're Doing (Something Heavenly), by Sanctus Real.

It's time for healing time to move on

It's time to fix what's been broken too long

Time make right what has been wrong

It's time to find my way to where I belong

There's a wave that's crashing over me

All I can do is surrender

[Chorus]

Whatever you're doing inside of me

It feels like chaos somehow there's peace

It's hard to surrender to what I can't see

but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone

Time to begin again

Reevaluate who I really am

Am I doing everything to follow your will

or just climbing aimlessly over these hills

So show me what it is you want from me

I give everything I surrender...

To...

[Chorus]

Time to face up

Clean this old house

Time to breathe in and let everything out

That I've wanted to say for so many years

Time to to release all my held back tears

Whatever you're doing inside of me

It feels like chaos but I believe

You're up to something bigger than me

Larger than life something heavenly

Whatever you're doing inside of me

It feels like chaos but now I can see

This something bigger than me

Larger than life something heavenly

Something heavenly

It's time to face up

Clean this old house

Time breathe in and let everything out

Us with the group of younger kids at the waterpark.

Us in front of the house we built for Maria Lydia (in pink)

Me and my friend Josue who helped us build the house

Some of our group part way up the volcano.

The volcano we hiked up.

Volcano we hiked up as viewed from Cerro Verde Park, which is also a volcano.

Closer view of the crater.

Welcome to Cerro Verde Park, a dream in paradise.

Our view during a semi clear moment during the hike.

Another view during a semi clear moment during the hike.

One of the pizzas we made. Ceramic tiles can function as pizza stones.

All the interns after visiting Union Church, a church composed of missionaries in El Salvador.

Our group halfway up Cerro Verde overlooking Lake Coatepeque